You can’t even see Venus from Mars.

September 7, 2008

Viking Woman came home Saturday. She had just driven four hours from Tawa to Napier after spending five nights in motel rooms.

It was 11:30 a.m. She was antsy. She did not want to read the weekend papers with me. She did not want to check e-mails or Facebook or nhl.com. She did not want to sit quietly and contemplate what a wonderful man she had married. (I had, after all, washed the bedclothes in anticipation of that special activity best appreciated by blue light and orange glasses.)

“Let’s Do Something,” she said.

Do Something. Riiiiiight. I’m up for that dear, just as long as it doesn’t involve me putting on pants or shaving.

Yes, a matter of fact, this is another example of the ways in which two alien species  – Man and Woman – differ.

Woman’s definition of “Do Something” may include such activities as walking on the beach while holding hands, gazing lovingly into a spouse’s eyes over an espresso drink or – and this should probably be at the very top of the list – shopping for shoes.

But say “Do Something” to a Man and this is what he hears: ”Get your kit off, honey, and set up the camera.”

Venus and Mars? Not even in the same universe.

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