Publish or Die! Part 7

April 19, 2009

You know those heart-warming stories about the 29 rocket scientists who rejected some poor schmuck’s manuscript? And how the 30th person to encounter the book — someone who obviously had no idea how the whole literary agent thing is supposed to work — somehow managed to perceive the sheer genius on the page that everyone else had somehow missed?

And how the book, once published, made a bazillion dollars? And how those 29 rocket scientists were left looking like the idiot assholes they really are?

In that vein, I present another rejection from my own personal collection of rocket scientists:

***

I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. Unfortunately, it’s taken
longer than I’d hoped to catch up from my maternity leave.

Thank you so much for submitting your query to BookEnds. While your work
sounds intriguing, I’m afraid I just don’t think it’s for me.

I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Kim Lionetti
BookEnds, LLC
136 long hill road
gillette, nj 07933
908-889-0623
http://www.bookends-inc.com

***

Dear Kim:

Actually, considering I submitted my query letter to you way back in early January, I’d actually forgotten about it. Not given up on it. Forgotten.

As in: Your opinion no longer has any bearing on my future.

That’s how far I’ve now advanced past the point of needing rocket scientists like you to grant me the keys to the kingdom.

Oh, and just for the record: It’s going to feel so good when I prove you wrong.

See ya in the e-universe.

Kind regards

Signed:

Bite my, um, moko

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3 Responses to “Publish or Die! Part 7”

  1. My blog yesterday what all about this rejection business! Thanks for the laugh!

    I found your blog as I was googling some more prospective agents….AHH! Don’t they know how talented we are and all that they’re missing?

    hello from canada – mu hubby came to us from SA – we’re doing a cross hemisphere switch.

    • bitemymoko said

      Hello Jennifer:

      How’s it going, eh, in the Great White North? Not that I should be chuckling: winter is whispering its cold breath down the back of our necks here in New Zealand and, since they have yet to invent central heating in this country, I need to type fast or risk my fingers freezing on my keyboard.

      Thanks for reading my blog and taking the time to comment. Always appreciated.

      Agents? The devil’s henchmen, actually. I grew tired of rejection letters when I knew in my heart I had written something of worth, if only the right person in the right place at the right time would bother to read it. I first published Brown Girls as a POD project through PublishAmerica in 2004 and those who bought and read it, raved. So if the reading/paying public liked my book, why didn’t anyone in the publishing world have the same feelings? One of Life’s great secrets, I’m guessing.

      I’m paraphrasing here, but someone one said you can let life happen to you or you can happen to life. I opted for the latter, which is why I took BG to Smashwords and formated it into an ebook. This, I truly believe, is the way of the future as far as publishing is concerned. Unfortunately, thousands of other writers believe the same thing, which is why one’s book very quickly disappears into the great, yawning maw of Smashwords. The key is to get the word out to the World Wide Web, which is one reason I blog.

      It’s also why I’ve joined a website called authonomy.com and posted the book’s first 14 chapters (there is a 10,000-word minimum for posting). The site is run by HarperCollins and my best guess is that the company “uses” its members as unpaid slush-pile readers. Other members are encouraged to make comments on your sample and you can use those comments to help improve your writing or ignore them as the mad ravings of the ignorant unwashed.

      But . . . every so often, a writer wins a Golden Ticket. This is when HarperCollins, alerted by strong recommendations by its members, reaches into the abyss and plucks a book and its writer from obscurity. It’s what we all hope for and wish for and pray for and offer up our firstborn for.

      If you do happen to join Authonomy (and try saying that three times fast), let me know. I’ll advocate yours if you do the same for me.

      Take care.
      John

  2. wow – it’s quite a track record you have (sniffles the aspiring novelist).
    I looked up authonomy, and it really seems like fishing. How much time do you spend perusing through the works of others? I suppose if one contributes, they read, hoping it will be reciprocated. Thanks for the info!

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