Bodysurfing the new wave of publishing.

May 19, 2009

Cover JpegJack’s back. Jack Nolan, that is. So is Nurse Heather. And that cheeky monkey Maina Rima. And, oh yeah, the League of Jackals is still up to no good.

Five years after PublishAmerica first printed it, and about three years after I took possession of its rights, my first published novel, Brown Girls, is once again available to the world.

I have seen the future and it’s spelled Kindle. And ePub and LRF and PDB. I have seen the future and it does not include hard copies of books unless your name is King or Brown or Grisham or Rushdie.

For the rest of us commoners, the future is all about the ebook. And so, after years of enduring the rejections of callous literary agents, I have decided to skip right past the naysayers and shove Brown Girls straight into that future.

Which would explain why my first-born now resides at and can been sampled or purcahsed via

For you still stuck in the here and now (and how so very quaintly 21st century of you), the manuscript is also available in HTML, JavaText and Plan Text, allowing it to be read onscreen or printed off so you can be transported to the Cook Islands while comfortably tucked into your favourite chair.

Those of you who were kind enough to buy the 2004 edition will note that version 2.0 has been re-edited and polished and, unlike its author, is now slimmer and trimmer, thanks to the punting of some 17,000 words. Included in that cut was every one of the F-bombs, meaning my mother can now safely put down the latest Danielle Steele novel and finally read her No. 1 son’s tome without fear of encountering words you can’t say in church.

If you’re thinking, “I bought the original, it was excellent, now where the hell is that sequel you’ve been promising us for five years?”, you’ll be pleased to know The Blue Beneath is progressing rather nicely, and will continue to do so if you recommend that all your friends buy the Brown Girls ebook, thus proving to Viking Woman that, yes, I can earn money by sitting on my arse at home all day.

That’s the key to marketing ebooks — getting the word out. Unlike hard copies where, with a bit of time and patience, a buyer will eventually stumble across your masterpiece in a bookstore, the World Wide Web is a great big haystack and my book, no matter how significant to me, is but a mere needle.

Placing the book on is a good first step but now, as you might expect, everyone with one knuckle and a keyboard is starting to turn away from POD and vanity publishing and going the ebook route as well, thus avoiding all those pesky editors and agents and publishers who, obviously, have no appreciation for truly great literary art.

Which means Smashwords’ inventory grows larger by the day and, at the risk of sounding mean-spirited, you do have to sieve through a lot of gravel to find the gold. Hopefully, with the help of you, my faithful blog readers, people will manage to discover and buy and read and enjoy Brown Girls.

I will keep you posted on sales figures, if they happen, and comments, if they are filed (and please feel free to add your own review, good or bad, to the Brown Girls page — all feedback is welcomed and encouraged).

My plan, you see, is to sell a million copies. Hey, if Dan Brown can do it, anyone can.

The second part of my plan, once the royalty cheques start to roll in, is to retire to an island in the South Pacific and live in a huge mansion from where I can watch starlets frolic on a clothing-optional beach while nubile Nubian women fan me with palm fronds and attend to my every need and desire.

And then . . .

And then Viking Woman elbows me awake because I’ve been snoring and I realize it’s all been a dream. Well, except for the clothing-optional part. Somehow in the night I’ve managed to lose my pajamas. I’m going to blame the Nubians.


One Response to “Bodysurfing the new wave of publishing.”

  1. Alice Grey said

    The book is a REALLY good read and I can honestly recommend it to EVERYONE, whatever your particular literary taste….it is part adventure, part suspense, part thriller, part romance, a little sexy and of course, true to Ireland form, there are the odd humorous interjections.

    DEFINITELY worth the meagre $5.99…

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