If life is an alphabet, then I’m O for Awesome.

January 7, 2010

I’m a baby boomer and proud of it. Although, truth be told, I actually liked it much better when it was spelled Baby Boomer, before newspaper style gurus and dictionary dorks decided uppercase letters looked too pretentious and we all needed to come down a notch. Or at least a pica.

Today, however, I discovered I’m also a member of Generation Awesome. In fact, as it turns out, I’m the only member.

This new designation came about after I read a story in the Jan. 7 New Zealand Herald (Diss Generation Z? Epic fail, you rental). The story, from the AAP news agency, listed the top 25 “Teenglish” buzzwords for 2009, according to a survey of the worthless little shits valued members of society who make up the so-called Z dread.

At the top of the list? The headline acted as a bit of a spoiler but, yes, it is “diss.”

What does this have to do with a raisin rancher like myself? Well, back in the day, when I was still the Sports dude at the Langley Times, I once confused Lance Peverley, the newspaper’s editor, by using “diss” as a verb in a photo cutline.

Come to think of it, Lance was easily confused by all things sports, but that’s not the point. The thing is, this would have been about, oh, the early ’90s, when the members of Generation Z were still little more than random sperm. A time when the only thing between my future peace and quiet and the thumping bass of a car stereo was a $1 condom.

So, just for the record: I was using “diss” when cellphones were bricks and to use one was to be mistaken for someone calling in an airstrike.

So, yeah, that’s me — Generation of the Totally Awesome.

According to the newspaper, the list also includes “rentals,” meaning parents, which, I assume, is derived from “parental units,” a term belonging to another generation’s wiseasses.

The only other word on the list that I’ve actually used is “meh,” as in “expression of indifference.” Because that pretty much sums up how I feel about Generation Z in general. Come to think of it, I never held out much hope for Generations X or Y either. So far they have yet to prove me wrong.

Most of the other buzzwords are texting shortcuts of the “idk = I don’t know” ilk. I see a lot of those shortcuts used on Facebook — omg, lol, lmao, brb, etc. The whole letters = words thing displays the same amount of creativity and imagination as the book-title jokes I fell off my dinosaur laughing at when I was kid. Rusty Bedsprings by I.P. Nightly is just one classic example that never gets old.

It’s just nice to know I’m so cool and hip as to actually be ahead of the curve for once. It’s gotten to the point where I’m now making up my own texting/Internet language. For instance, when something cracks me up, I simply type “ifodfail.” It stands for “I Fall On De Floor And I Laughing,” which is, I believe, a line from a Simon and Garfunkel song.

I’m pretty sure I’m the only one using that abbreviation, which, you’d have to agree, is the perfect summation of my level of genius. And hipness. Oh, hell, just call me groovy and be done with it.

Although I can’t claim credit for it, my generation has longed used a shortcut that is suitable for just about any occasion, whether it be an angry retort, signing off on a relationship, or simply as a means to the end of a conversation.

It goes something like this: FU.

Compared to that one, you’d have to agree that Generation Z’s buzzwords are kinda, well, meh.

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One Response to “If life is an alphabet, then I’m O for Awesome.”

  1. Lance Peverley said

    Harrumph!

    (Thank god for google alerts…)

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